A stupid thing my boyfriend said,

 ”Not everyone is as practiced as you at puking.”

He is well aware that I’m a recovered Bulimic. 

WOW, ok.  So match has this approval process.  It took a whole 2 seconds for me to be approved.  Apparently if you’re female, you’re approved. I’m pretty excited cause it hasn’t even been a whole day and I already have 13 emails!  For all you ladies out there with self esteem problems, you should join. It’s a real confidence booster.  ”You’re the most adorable girl on here? How Did you ever end up here anyway.”  Ha ha, oh stop it rollerdude you’re making me blush.

Match has different ways of connecting with people. Winks, emails, it’s almost exactly like facebook but with out the subtext.  You know when someone emails you on this thing it is for sure a date. Which I’m looking forward to avoiding those situations where you’re out to dinner with a guy and the whole time you’re thinking “Is this a date?” Well I’ll never have to ask that with these gents. There is one draw back. A lot of these guys are looking for “The One” And I just need a date to my sisters wedding. I’m afraid I might break one of these BSG loving guys hearts. Which reminds me.  i need to take “I love BSG” off my profile because it’s attracting the wrong kind of men.  I should’ve known that.

My first message said  ”…I have my profile on private right now because I have this stalker girl after me-..”

What?! Why would you tell me that? He probably thought I’d think “Oh my god, he has a stalker? That must mean he’s soooo hot.” Or you’re crazy! and are hiding your profile.. NEXT!

One guy put in the subject “Chicken or Egg First”…. I don’t get it. He must be too smart for me.

In my profile I said I was a comedian because I don’t want them to be caught off guard when they find that out but then it just makes them want to show off their wit via email and/or wink! Yikes town. But I did get a email from a hot Asian dude.

So far so good. :)

Days till my Sister’s wedding: 120

So after being in a five and a half year relationship (my first and only relationship that I thought was going to be it), I’m now dating.  Dating for the first time ever, really.  After a hard day of work and having a guy say he’ll call me tomorrow and then not call at all… I suddenly had a completely unoriginal thought.  What about the internet?   It’s never even come up before because frankly it’s a place for pedophiles, rapists, and 13 year old girls who have irresponsible parents.   I can’t date anyone at work, being the only female in a some what authoritative position I feel so weird even toying with the very idea of dating a colleague or an intern! Yuck! I like to consider myself funny but I’m no David Letterman.  I went to Match.com for the first time and discovered they have a 6 month guarantee policy, there are a bunch of rules and stipulations you have to follow but if you don’t find “Someone special” in 6 months you get your money back.  My sisters wedding is roughly six months away and I’d rather not go alone so I’m putting this 6 month thing to the test and will be documenting my journey.  I shall remain anonymous because I think if I was open about it I’d have an even harder time finding a date. But then again I’ve always had a hard time.  Being a jock in high school gave me a lot of guy friends but no boyfriends.  Moving to LA in 02’ right after graduation wasn’t very great on my romantic life either.  I was excited and too egger.  I wanted to be in the movies which meant I had a wild/disappointing imagination.  I would go to Ralph’s and try to make the fact that I was shopping for one very obvious so that the love of my life would see by the contents of my cart that I was single then ask me to marry him in front of the frozen poultry. I would buy things like; a half carton of eggs, one burrito, and a book titled “Hey I’m 18 and single! Love me please!”… I wasn’t able to always purchase that last one… Trader Joes doesn’t have a sad n’ lonely section…

I’m creating my profile today. I was just  “looking for free!”  and some of these guys HAVE to be plants.  I mean they must pay a group of dudes to fill in a profile and use their picture to make it seem as though 10’s are actually here on the market looking for me.  But no way can all these super hot, successful, bo hunks just want someone to share all their not too bulky but just right muscles with.  My theory, they do this so that after you get rejected by a bunch of 10’s suddenly a 4 from the OC doesn’t seem so bad.

This wasn’t my first option for dating.  I’ve been single for about six months.  My ex and I had the greatest break up in break up history.  We almost had t-shirts made that said “Break-up Weekend 09’”.  He was an awesome boyfriend.  A true best friend.  But it seemed like we were better best friends than lovers.  The stupid Hollywood romantic in me has my mind racing right now thinking.  “Oh! What if I start this blog and then after a long up and downhill adventure with online dating my ex realizes he does want to be that guy I always wanted and make me happy and marry me!  This would be the greatest blog ever! It could be a screenplay! Oscar, here I come!”   But now that I’m older, 25 to be exact.  My realistic side takes over.  “No.  You’re doing this blog anonymously so that you can cope.  Deal with where your emotions are right now. Get it on paper so you’ll stop feeling like shit when that guy last week asked me for my number said “I’ll call you tomorrow” then doesn’t call at all!! What the hell is that?!”

Oh, here is a guy that says he’s never been married but then has a picture where he has tried to obviously crop out his wife and kids.  Really lonestar72?  You didn’t have ANY other photos? You know maybe one without your kids?

Ugh, this might be harder than I thought.